As an Animal Communicator, I am privy to all sorts of home situations. Clients invite me into their lives to help them with any number and flavor of animal problems and concerns. Unfortunately, sometimes the concerns are embedded in changes in human relationships and living arrangements. When a couple decides to split up, either temporarily or permanently, it affects everyone in the household…… including the animals. Where will the pets live…who will get custody? On more then one occasion, I’ve been asked to talk with pets about a change in their home status. And as you can imagine, there is a lot of confusion, heartbreak and fear.
Our pets love consistency. They love knowing what they’ll be eating and who will be feeding them. They love knowing where their toys are and who will be playing “fetch” with them that day. They love knowing they will be laying on the couch getting their bellies scratched before going to bed and they love knowing where they’ll be sleeping and who will be lying next to them. While changes in activity can be fun….like a surprise day of swimming or an extra brushing they didn’t expect, our pets depend on us to maintain their safe and constant environments. And then things happen…..
When I’ve talked with pets whose living arrangements have changed because of a marriage /long-term relationship ending, I’m usually met with all sorts of emotions and questions. “Why don’t mama and daddy live in the same place anymore? Where will I go? Who will feed me? Who will take me to the park? Do they still love me?” Sometimes animals will cry, sometimes they’re angry and sometimes they become depressed and extremely sad. They might stop eating, playing or running to the door to see who’s there. They may sleep all the time or they may get sick with something their vet has no name for. I have encountered all of the above and more when talking with a pet whose owners have separated. It’s almost like their hearts are broken beyond repair and they see no need to go on with their daily lives.
When I’m asked to talk to a pet whose owners have separated, I always approach the conversation from the deep love and affection that the humans feel for their pet. Whatever else happens to this family, it’s important for the pet to know that he will always be loved and cared for no matter where he lives or who takes care of him. Once I establish this safety net, I can go on to talk about other matters…like how these things happen in families and how hard it can be for everyone to go through a separation/split. I explain to the pet exactly what his humans have told me as far as their plans for his well being are concerned… like where he’ll be living and with whom. I also go through all of the little details of daily life that pets are concerned about; food, treats, play and sleep. Describing all of these things in fine detail can help animals feel like there will be lots in their lives that will be the same even in the face of huge changes. It will give them some measure of control in what must seem like an out-of-control world. And who doesn’t like to have a little control over what happens to them each day?
Blessings to you and your furry critters,